Things Overheard in My House...Holiday Edition!

The following things could be overheard during our family tree decorating session...

"NO MATTHEW!  DON’T TAKE BABY JESUS!" - Anna

"Matthew, I don’t think you’re getting this – we put the ornaments on the tree, not take them off." - Daddy

Mom: "Why do we celebrate Hanukkah?"

Anna: "Because JESUS WAS BORN!"

"The Menakkah!" - Anna (think combining the words Hanukkah and Menorah) 

"Is that a dolphin?" - Daddy, while Mom was getting the Nativity set out (it was a donkey)

Mom: "I’m not going to do the crèche, I’m just going to put the people up."

Daddy: "You’re going to crush who?"

Daddy: "Ok everyone, let’s go around and say something they are thankful for."

Anna: "I’m going to go around."  (Then she walked around the table.)

"That’s not trash, that’s a Menorah!" -Daddy, during clean-up

"Baby Jesus is SO CUTE!" - Anna

"Matthew!  Stop throwing Joseph!" - Daddy 

"Matthew, if the holy family survives this Christmas, it’s going to be amazing." - Daddy (Matthew is a little rough with the nativity set)

"He wasn’t throwing Joseph, he was throwing Mary." - Joshua

"What a beautiful room…this doesn’t look like our house!" - Joshua (gee thanks, kid)

Anna and Daddy, discovering an ornament in which you can put a picture:

"Hey we can put a picture of me in here!"

"But Anna, we don’t have a picture of you that fits."

"Well, we can paint one!"

Mom: "Why do we celebrate Hanukkah?"

Anna: "Because ADVENT was born!" 

Things Overheard in My House, Part 9

"I can turn myself into paint!" – Joshua

"My owie got on your shirt!" – Anna

Conversation with Daddy and Joshua:
"Matthew, I know how to spell your name – TROUBLE!"
"Daddy, that’s not how you spell his name! You started with a T!"
"Oh yeah? Then what did I spell?"
"TUSH!"

"Mom if you don’t buckle my seatbelt, my head will get broken on the road and a car will be on it!" - Anna

"Matthew, what does a dog say?"
"ROAR!"


"Mommy, I want to talk to you."
"Oh yeah, Anna? What about?"
"I want to talk about your eye."
"What’s up with my eye?"
"Nothing, I just want to talk about it."
"Oh, ok, go ahead."
"Does your eye hurt?"
"No."
"Ok, you have to talk back with me."
"Anna, I did, I answered your question."
"Oh."

"I’m funny like Daddy, because I looooove chickens." - Joshua

"Anna, you are ridiculous. "
"Oh yes I am."

"Scripture is PANCAKES!" - Anna
Mommy leading a lesson on Advent:
"Guys, what are these candles called?"
Silence
Anna: “JESUS!”

“ANNA! THAT’S GROSS! WHAT DO YOU SAY?!” – Overheard coming from the bedroom as Daddy was doing bedtime

 Conversation between Daddy and Matthew:
"Matthew! You’re stinky!"
“YECCH!"

"My pants are in Matthew’s crib!" - Anna

"If my mom was a bad guy, I’d be rich!"
"Anna, what does rich mean?"
"I don’t know!"




Conversation between Matthew and Daddy:
"Matthew, are you pooping?"
"YEAH!"

Things Overheard in My House, Part 8

"This is my favorite game because the Chiefs are wearing red, and I like red." - Joshua, while watching the Chiefs game with his father.

"JOSHUA!  That is a BAD CHOICE,  and it is NOT A RACE!" - Anna, when Joshua beat him to the bathroom.  (Gee, think she's heard that at all?)

"JOSHUA HIT ME!"

"Joshua, did you hit Anna?"

"Well, she was spitting at me!"

"Anna, were you spitting at Joshua?"

"Well…he threw a crayon box at my head!"

"THAT’S IT!  EVERYONE’S IN TIME-OUT!" 

- Conversation among Daddy, Joshua and Anna

"MATTHEW!  You took off your jammy pants, AND your diaper!  NOW what am I supposed to do?" - Daddy while doing the bedtime routine

"He was SACKED!"

"Oh no, he's sick!"

"No, sacked, Anna."

"I thought he was sick."

"No, SACKED, Anna."

"He's sick?"

-  Anna and Daddy while watching a football game

"I'VE GOTTA BE SUPERMAN...GIVE IT UP FOR ME!" - Joshua

"And if our God is for us, then anybody can stand against us..." Anna singing "Our God" with poor theology and her father's gift for hearing lyrics (see next entry)

"Rhythm is a dancer, it's a soul romancer..." Sean attempting, and failing, to sing the song by Snap!

Sean: "Guys, get back in your beds!" Anna (sounding indignant): "I am IN my bed! JOSHUA got out of HIS bed and SLAPPED ME WITH HIS PILLOW!"

"Matthew, what does a cow say?

"APPLE!"

"Thank you Jesus for Matthew's bottom.  Thank you Jesus, Amen." - Anna praying for the diaper rash on Matthew's bum

"HEY!  They have PIZZA in there!" - Joshua while driving past a pizza restaurant 

And finally...a glimpse into Anna's world...

"We need to decorate for the party!"

"Ummmm...what party, Anna?"

"The PRETEND party!"

"We're having a pretend party?"

"YES!  Do we have any balloons?"

"Well, if it's a pretend party, can't you have pretend balloons?"

"I don't know where the pretend balloons ARE!"

What Happens When Daddy's in Charge

Let me be abundantly clear here: I love that my husband is such a partner when it comes to raising the children.  Not every wife has a husband that would be cool with watching the kiddos while she ran around town going to meetings and judging at a high school debate tournament all day on a Saturday.  My husband is just such a father, and I am so blessed to have him!

Having said that...some funny things can happen when Daddy is in charge all day.

Case in point:

When I left the house at 7:45 this morning, the kids were at various stages of dress.  Joshua, who woke up at 5:30 am (as usual...sigh...) was in the process of picking out clothes from his dresser.  Anna was in the bathtub.  And Matthew was in the plain white onesie we had used as jammies the night before.

I didn't get home till 3:00 in the afternoon, and when I arrived at the house I discovered everyone was playing in the backyard.  There was Joshua in his David Wright Mets shirt and athletic pants, his standard weekend wear. There was Anna in a blue T-shirt and jeans - if Daddy is in charge, there will be no pink involved.  Neither were wearing shoes, but it was a warm day, so that was not surprising.

And...there was Matthew.

Running around barefoot in the backyard.

Still in the the jammies onesie. 

Hmmm.

I said, "Hey honey - why is Matthew still in the clothes he slept in?"

Sean looked at me, perplexed, looked at Matthew, looked back at me and said "I don't know - didn't seem to need anything different."

And thus is the difference in perspective between Mommy and Daddy!




.

Things Overhead in My House Part 7

"My talking fingers spilled the milk!" - Anna

"It thought I was its lunch...BUT I WASN'T!"  - Anna, crying, referring to the wasp that stung her

“My friend Colton and I were wearing THE SAME SHIRT TODAY!” - Joshua (They wear uniforms.)

“Hey Dad!  I’m going to tell you a baseball story.  Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Anna.  She couldn’t play baseball.  The end.  That’s my story!” – Anna

“Daddy, You’re not going to work on Monday.”   

“That’s right, Joshua. Do you know why?”   

“Because it’s a holiday called Laughter Day.” (Labor Day)

“Anna, why is the air freshener on the floor?” 

“I’m really sorry, Mommy.”

“God told Jonah to go to Nineveh.  But he didn’t.  He made a BAD CHOICE.  So a big fish came and ATE him, and then the fish SPIT him out, and Jonah went to Nineveh to tell all his friends about God, because God was his best friend.” - Anna telling the story of Jonah 

“Joshua, guess who your teacher is tonight [at church]!”

“Who?”

“Jeff!”

“YAY!  JEFF IS MY FAVORITE TEACHER!”    

“But Joshua, what about me?”

“Daddy…I love you…and I have fun when you are my teacher…but Jeff is my FAVORITE teacher.” - Conversation between Joshua and his father 

“Did you have fun at preschool?”  

 “Well, not actually.” - Conversation with Anna 

“Dad?  Is Jesus with us?”

“Yes Anna.”

“Is He is my belly?”

“I’m almost in FIRST GRADE!” - Joshua, four weeks after kindergarten began

"I won't turn you into a frog anymore, Mommy."

"Well, thank you, Anna."

"...if you're good."

“Thank you Jesus for the squirrel, thank you Jesus, Amen.”

“What squirrel, Anna?”

“The squirrel outside…”

"Hey, want to squish your pea?" - Joshua (the things that appeal to a 5 year old boy!)

And finally, one of the funniest conversations with one of my children EVER:

"Mommy, you are beautiful!" 

"Thanks, Anna, so are you!" 

"You're wonderful!" 

"Aww, thanks, Anna!" 

"Can you give me cake?"

Anna-tude

Dinnertime is an interesting time of the day in our family. Unlike breakfast, which is choose-your-own menu from about three options, or lunch, which is generally predestined one way or another, dinner is the time when I make an all-out meal and expect my family to eat it.  It's a chance to try new things, experiment with new food, and have some family togetherness.  Joshua went through a picky stage, but he has discovered that most of the food I make is all right after all.  Matthew eats anything if he's hungry, nothing if he's not.  He's a classic 18 month old.

And then...there's Anna.


Anna has decided that she does not like anything but hot dogs, cheese, chicken nuggets, cheese pizza, berries, and milk.  Well, and cookies, as you will soon see.

I don't know how she got this picky; we certainly don't cater to it.  See, unlike breakfast, dinner at our house is not a request hour.  I make what I make.  If you don't want to eat it, that's your choice, but you are not getting anything else.  I do not run a restaurant.  I scour the Internet for healthy, kid-friendly meals.  I don't make anything that the kids can't eat or  shouldn't like.  We don't let it become a power struggle with the kids, we just put our foot down about the fact that this is dinner: take it or leave it.  Lately, Anna has been choosing to leave it.

Tonight I went to the grocery store right before coming home to make dinner, which as we all know, is a mistake, because if you go to the grocery store hungry, you will buy more food than you intended.  Long story short, I came home with a sackful of cookies from the bakery - one for each kid who would eat their whole meal.  (We don't do this very often at all; we're not a dessert family.  Once in a while, though, a treat is fun.) 

Dinner tonight was something we call Chicken Stir-Fry, for lack of a better term. It's just a little bit of olive oil, some cooked chicken breast, a bag of steamed frozen veggies, and a shaking of French's fried onions.  Stir it up in a skillet, and bingo - dinner!  It's pretty healthy, and the boys all LOVE IT.  Joshua actually requests it.  Anna, however, has decided that she does not like it, and she refuses to put a bite in her mouth.

I explained as we sat down that I had a surprise for anyone who finished their dinner.  In due time the boys  got to eat their cookies, and Anna, who had been refusing to eat all night, decided that she would give it a try if her daddy put the food in her mouth for her.  Daddy, being a sucker for those deep blue eyes, agreed to help...but even then, Anna just could not bring herself to eat her dinner. 

I left Anna and her daddy to battle it out and headed off to get Joshua's shower prepared.  After a few minutes, Anna appeared at the bathroom door with a satisfied look on her face.

"Did you eat your dinner, Anna?" I asked, hoping but not expecting.

"Well...no.  I'll just have my cookie tomorrow."   Satisfied that she had found and answer to her problem, she went off to play with her dollhouse.

Hmmm.  This was not the kind of behavior I wanted to encourage, so after a quick parental consultation, I went to Anna and explained that her cookie would not be available tomorrow.

"Anna, you can either eat your cookie now, or not at all.  You can't have it tomorrow," I declared.

"Oh!" she answered. "I'll have it right now!"

"No, no, Anna," I said, thinking about how she will have a great future as a loophole-finding attorney. "You still have to eat your dinner to get the cookie."

"Well, I'll just have another cookie tomorrow," she answered, reasoning that if Mom (me) was saying no to this cookie, surely there would be more and different cookies available in the morning.

"No, Anna," I patiently countered. "There are no more cookies.  This is it.  Either come eat your dinner and your cookie, or have no cookie at all."

Anna's little brow furrowed, not angrily, but in a way that told me she was processing this information and trying to make it come out in her favor.  Sensing that she was losing the cookie battle, she decided to take the high ground and make it all her idea to begin with.  Putting one little hand on her hip and waving her hand through the air in a devil-may-care manner, she proclaimed:

"I don't need a cookie."

You know, this girl tells us almost every day that she wants to be a doctor...but I am thinking there are some lawyer years in her future. 

Personalities

It never ceases to fascinate me how my children can have such unique personalities.  Anyone who has read this blog with any regularity knows that Anna is, shall we say, a free spirit.  Rules are more...suggestions in Anna's mind.  Anna is going to do what she wants - the key with her is to teach her that she wants to make the right choice, that it is her idea in the first place.

Joshua, on the other hand, is a stereotypical first-born rule follower.  If there is a rule, he doesn't need a reason for it, he is just going to follow it.  He is a teacher's dream.  (He also likes to point out when other people are NOT following the rules, which gets both hilarious and annoying.)  The following story illustrates this point...

As you all should know by now, we have a precious corner of the day known as Quiet Time at our house.  In addition to the quiet hour they must stay in their room, we have now added the element of an alarm clock.  Every day, the two older kids head to their room, and we set the timer for an hour from the time they start.  They can earn extra time for fighting or leaving the room early, so it's a pretty good system for getting them to stay in their room.  Joshua, in particular, likes this system, because it gives him very specific parameters.  He likes guidelines.

This past weekend, my husband was getting ready to go run some errands, and he decided to take the kids with him.  There was about 15 minutes left of Quiet Time, so he stepped into the room and said, "Hey, who wants to go to the store with me?"

Anna, always willing for an adventure that gets her out of a restricted time, immediately responded "ME!  ME! I WANT TO GO!!"

However, Joshua glanced at the clock, and with a tone of shock and horror, answered this way:

"But DAD!  The ALARM hasn't gone off yet!"

It took several minutes and a lot of convincing from his father for Joshua to finally accept that it was, in fact, okay for him to leave Quiet Time early with his dad. 

It will be interesting to see what these two turn out to be when they grow up!

HOW DOES IT KNOW?!

My husband went on a trip for work this week.  He is two time zones away.  Even though his dad was coming down to help and I was in no way going to be winging it alone for the week, I knew in my heart of hearts that the inevitable was coming.

I was not disappointed.

You see, every mother knows there is a law of reality floating around out there in the universe that has to do with Daddy leaving town.  They know that, without a doubt, within 48 hours of Dad's departure, at least one of the following things will happen:

1. A major appliance will completely crap out.
2. One of the children will come down with a raging fever.
3. Someone will start throwing up.

Sean left Monday morning.  On Wednesday morning, the Law of Daddy Leaving Town (or LDLT) kicked in.  Joshua woke up crying at 4:00 am.  Thinking he was having a bad dream (I'm not real quick at 4am, otherwise I would have realized the LDLT was looming over my head), I stumbled into his room to comfort him.  Instead of a scared kid in need of a hug, I found a miserable kid in need of a bath.

"I accidentally threw up!" he sobbed miserably. 

(I don't know why he said accidently.  It's possible he thought he would be in trouble.  Joshua's not real with it at 4am either.)

I got him all cleaned up and put him in my bed so I could strip his.  While I was Cloroxing his plastic matress cover, I kept thinking "maybe he just ate something.  Maybe he just gagged.  Maybe, just maybe this isn't the stomach flu."

Oh, to dream.

Within the hour, he had thrown up again, and before the day was out, the poor guy had lost it 5 times.  What's worse, I am not in a position right now where I can stay home, so I had to leave a crying little boy ("But I want YOU to stay with me!!") home with his grandfather while I went off to school.  Mom of the year, right here folks. 

Thankfully, it was a 24 hour bug, and he was all normal by the next evening.  None of the other kids have caught the bug, and I am so thankful that my FIL could be here this week...especially since my baby-sitter came down with the same virus a day later. God is good.

But that still leaves me with that all-important question...

HOW THE HECK DOES A STOMACH VIRUS KNOW THEIR FATHER WENT OUT OF TOWN?!

Anna's New Game

"Let's play Catch the Cow!"

"Ok, Anna, how do we play Catch the Cow?"

"It's a game where you have to catch the cows and put them on your back."

"Where's the cows?"

"Oh, I'M the cow, and there's only one cow in the game!"

This was a conversation Anna had with her daddy this weekend.  What Anna calls a new game, I call a plot to get her father to give her a piggy-back ride.

Here's How It REALLY Happened...or Maybe Not

The kids have these little Spiderman figurines.  One is bigger than the other, so Anna has dubbed him "Spiderman's Dad."  Tonight, as we were waiting for her brother to get out of the bathroom (he takes longer than a teenage girl), she picked up both figures, crawled into my lap, and declared we were going to play with them. 

"Hello Dad!"  she made the little figure squeak.

"Hello Son," I intoned as the dad's voice.

"Let's go save some people!" declared Little Spiderman.

"Ok, let's go!" answered Daddy Spiderman.

Off they went, "flying" through the air and landing on the children's Bible sitting in my lap.  (This should have been my first clue.)

"Oh no!" Little Spiderman said. "Some people are in trouble, we need to save them!"

"Ok!" answered Spiderman's Dad.

"They are in the fire!" cried Little Spiderman.

So Spiderman and his dad went trotting off across the book to save people from the fire.

To clarify, Spiderman's Dad said "They are in the fire?"

"Yes," Spiderman answered.  "Shadrach, Meschach, and Abendago are in the fire."

At this point I broke in laughing and asked with my regular voice, "Shadrach, Meschach, and Abendago?  That's who we're rescuing?"

"Yes," Anna answered firmly.  Then a moment later, "Shadrach is out, but Meschach and Abendago are still in the furnace."

Laughing, I made Spiderman's Dad say, "Well, we better get them out."

Another moment passed, and then Anna said, "Ok, they're all out and they're coming to lunch with us."

Still laughing, I made Spiderman's Dad trot down my leg after Little Spiderman as far as I could.  Then I asked, "What are we having for dinner?"

Anna thought for a moment, and then answered, "Bird's Nests."

(She's not being weird, Bird's Nests are a recipe I got from a friend's blog.  Click here if you want to see it!)

As Spiderman and his dad traveled along my leg, Anna announced that we were going to the Bird's Nest Restaurant.  Once we "arrived," she asked me what I wanted to eat.  I told her bacon, simply because it was the first thing that came to mind.  She thought for a moment, then decided "Yes, they have bacon here."  I asked her what she was having, and she didn't even hesitate: "Ice Cream."

So, if you are keeping track, here are the changes to the Shadrach, Meschach and Abendago story:
1. They were rescued by Spiderman and his dad.
2. Meschach and Abendago almost didn't make it out.
3. Once everyone was rescued, everyone went out the lunch and ate bacon and ice cream. 

Don't misunderstand - I am not an advocate for rewriting the Bible.  But I can't help but think that Anna's Heavenly Daddy was laughing even harder at all this than I was!

Morning Bathroom Conversation with Anna

"I had a bad dream.  It was about fire and had Larry Boy and Alfred in it.  So I got in your bed and slept because my bed had a bad dream in it.  Daddy woke up in your bed but he went back to sleep.  So I went to sleep but then I waked up but Daddy was still sleeping and Joshua was asleep so I got up and I came in here.  And that's all I got."

A New Adventure Begins

Tomorrow marks a new chapter in my life of Mommyhood.  Up to this point, I have been a stay-home mom.  I've had a few periods of time away from my children, but for the most part, it's been me and Joshua...then me, Joshua, and Anna...and then me, Joshua, Anna, and Matthew.  The four of us, marching through their childhood together.

That all ends tomorrow morning at 7:00 am.

For some time now - six years, in fact - I have been pursuing a dream.  I have been working towards a Masters degree in Special Ed for the past six years with the eventual goal of teaching at the secondary level.  Many life events have come during those six years - namely, the arrival of my three beautiful children!  Through it all, though, I knew this was a calling God had placed on my life.  I knew that eventually, I wanted to be out in the world, teaching those kids who need help the most.  Even as I pursued this with great excitement and fervor, I knew that it meant that one day, this moment would come: when I would no longer be home with my kids all day.

It's a good time for this transition.  Lots of changes happening.  Joshua starts kindergarten this week.  Anna starts preschool in a few weeks.  Matthew, well, he's the most adaptable of the three, he'll just go with the flow.  And Mommy is headed back to middle school for her student teaching semester.  In December I will have my degree, and I will hopefully have some job prospects.

I know that I know that I know that this is where God has us a family.  Everything has been aligned.  My childcare situation is one I could have only dreamed about.  I have scholarship and grants this semester to help with the costs.  The kids have been prepared.  All the details have come into place.

Beyond that, there is more that tells me this is the right place for us.  I am ready to do something else.  Let me be clear: I love my kids with a fierceness that frightens me sometimes.  When I drop them off at my friend's house tomorrow, I am going to cry buckets.  This is going to be difficult.  However, I am ready to be out of the house.  I am ready to pursue the dreams that God has given me.  It's not that I don't enjoy being a SAHM.  But I am ready for the next stage of life God has for our family.  I know He is taking care of us, and I know He would not have placed this desire in my heart or brought us to this moment if it wasn't the best for our family. 

At the same time...there is trepidation.  How will I get along all day without those three smiling faces?  I'm going to miss things.  I will miss out on some of Anna's crazy antics.  I will miss some first words of Matthew's.  I will miss the spontaneous hugs that Joshua gives me just when he knows I need them.   I will miss trips to the library, cuddling on the couch during cartoons, dancing in the living room with the music cranked.   I also fear for them - how will they do with all this?  Are they ready to be away from Mommy full-time?  Am I ready to be away from them full-time?

And yet...it is time.  When God says go...you GO!

So with fear and trembling and excitement, I face my last night at home (at least for a semester) as a SAHM.  Tomorrow, I become a working mom.  I am excited.  I am thrilled.  I am scared to death.  But I know that my God is with me and has been and will continue to carry us through to the next phase in our family's life.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”  - Joshua 1:9

Things Overheard in My house Part 6

"After they are done, do they get some candy?" – Anna watching a baseball game

"I had a good dream last night about eggs flying out of chickens’ bottoms". – Anna 

"Mom, there’s something dead in our house." - Joshua (it was a cricket)  

Mom: "Somebody’s cranky today."

Anna: "It’s me."

"Monkey Bun." - Anna 

"I don’t like to eat pickles, but I like to say pickles" -Anna

"We don’t want to put pickles in our bottoms." - Anna (good safety tip)

 

"Anna showed me her booger." - Joshua

"ANNA!  DON’T EAT BOOGERS!" - Mom

Anna: "Mom, I love you!"   

Mom: "I love you too!"

Anna: "Hug my feet!"

"You’re a beautiful mom!" – Joshua

"I’m gonna try again, because the word is PERSISTENT!" – Anna

Mom: "I want to talk to your father."

Joshua:   "I just want to eat his nose."

 

Anna: "I have SO much work to do!" 

Mom: "Oh yeah, Anna? Like what?" 

Anna: "Oh, you know - meeting new friends, playing with toys, coloring, penciling, and hugging my MOMMY!"

"Here Dad – I found this spinach in my teeth. I got it out.  I don’t want it to be there forever."  – Joshua

Mom: "Anna, did you wash your hands?"

Anna: "YES!"

Mom: "Did you use soap?"

Anna: "No, I don’t have to use soap."

 

"ANNA-POWER!" - Anna (who else?)

"If God see you everywhere, but you hide under a blanket, how can He see you there?" - Joshua

"Thank you Jesus for Grania.  And backpacks.  And my shoe.  And pictures." - Anna during bedtime prayers

 

"I need a new belly button.  Mine’s broken" - Anna

"The ducks are pooping and peeing in the water!" - Anna  

And finally, in the way-to-make-Mom-cry section:

"I'm gonna MISS you, Mommy!" - Joshua, during a discussion over what to pack in his lunches for kindergarten

Just Tryin' to Help

Today was library day, which meant the weekly household ritual of Searching for the Library Books. (I swear, library books multiply like rabbits the minute we get them home, and then proceed to bounce away like rabbits to the farthest nether-regions of our house. Since having kids, I don't think I have gone to the library without uttering the phrase "yeah, go ahead and just renew it, we're still looking for that one.") There was one particular book that was eluding us, and as we ripped apart the living room looking for it, Joshua and Anna started to get snippy with one another. The bickering finally got to a breaking point, and I called a halt to the search party in order to sit them down and talk to them about how we speak to one another.

As I called the two older ones over to me, Matthew perked up his tiny little 17-month old ears. He immediately recognized "that tone" in my voice and realized his siblings were getting in trouble. While I was having my talk with the older two, I noticed him toddling over to the time-out chair and picking it up. I didn't think much of it at the time - one of Matthew's favorite pastimes is rearranging the furniture. However, as we were wrapping up our "speak nice words to each other" session, he brought the chair over and sat it firmly behind Anna.

Being a slow, tired mom, I didn't catch on to what he was doing until he put his muscular little linebacker arm around Anna and tried to force her to sit in the chair. Then it hit me:

He was trying to put her in timeout.

Not in a malicious, "ha-ha you're in trouble!" kind of way. No, this was a "I know what's going on, thought I'd give you a hand" kind of move. He wasn't laughing or smirking mischievously - and believe me, this is a kid who knows how! He had just observed the situation, assessed it for needs, and done what he needed to do. His little engineer instinct took over. He was just trying to help.

And he looked massively confused when, laughing, I explained that no one was in time out and thanked him for the chair. He took another stab at putting his sister in the chair, gave me a look when I said "No," shrugged his little shoulders and went on to the next project.

Where would I be without all my little helpers?

It's His Turn!

Well, the time has come. For years now, my two older children, Joshua and Anna, have featured prominently on this blog. Their antics and funny sayings have filled the net-waves while my youngest, Matthew, has been somewhat in the background. That is not to say he doesn't do anything funny. On the contrary, he is one of the funniest tiny people I know! It's just that it's hard to translate a one-year old's tales into the written medium and have it still be funny. Lots of things happen that my husband and I find hilarious, but that are hard to to comunicate to the rest of you effectively.

However, the time has come, and it is now Matthew's turn at the spotlight.

Last week the kids and I went to my parents' house for a little mini-vacation time. The previous week, we had decided to start letting Matthew sleep in his siblings' room at night in his Pack n Play, so I continued the practice at the grandparents' house. (Up until this point, Matthew had been sleeping in his crib in our room, mostly due to space constrictions.) I set up the Pack n Play in the older kids' room and put him in it for bedtime. He fussed at being fenced in - until he discovered that, at Mema and Grandpa's house (and Mema and Grandpa's house only), the older kids had a TV in their room and got to watch a movie to go to sleep. As soon as The Incredibles came on, he quit crying and stared up and the TV, then glared at me with a look that clearly said "They get movies in here?! I've been staying in this house at least once a month for the past 16 months of my life and I NEVER KNEW THEY GOT MOVIES IN HERE?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"

The next day, during "quiet time," I decided to go ahead at let him stay in their room, even though at home we usually do naptime back in our room in his usual crib. At home, the older kids play during quiet time, and thus Matthew would never get to sleep...but at the grandparents' house, they got to watch videos, and I figured everyone would chill out and rest. We had just had a huge, exhausting morning of running around and doing a jumping bouncy-thing play place, so I thought if he was just forced to be still for 5 minutes, he would go to sleep.

Ah, the naivete of mothers, even ones who are on their third kids.

Mom and I had been downstairs for about 15 minutes when we heard Joshua make the following statement (in an obvious I-don't-want-to-get-in-trouble-for-tattling-but-I-think-Mom-should-know-this-voice) from the room above us:

"Hey, how did Matthew get out of his crib?"

Mom and I looked at each other. Oh, surely not...

But yes, yes indeed. Matthew had not gone right to sleep, as I had hoped. Instead he had put his time and talents to good use and figured out to pull and swing his tiny, powerful little body up and out of the Pack n Play. I found him snuggled up next to his brother, and when I walked in the room, he glanced up at me with a look that said "What?"

Wondering if it was a fluke of some sort (I know, I know, but I was hoping!), I put him back in the Pack n Play to see what would happen. He immediately swung his solid little left leg up and, working his freakishly strong toddler body around, managed to pull the rest of himself up and over. (Matthew is going to be our linebacker. He is a solid mass of muscle and strength.)

We let him stay up for that afternoon, thus making sure that he was exhausted enough in the evening to fall right asleep in the Pack n Play that night. When we got home the next day, I put him in the Pack n Play that night to see if he would make the connection from the other one. Yep. Within minutes, he was out of the thing and up on his sister's bed, thumping her in the head going "Na! Na! Na!" (Matthew-ese for "Anna.")

So he's back in our room in the crib. And I am just praying he doesn't figure out how to climb out of his crib anytime soon...but I really don't have much hope for it. Watch out - the monkey is loose!

Things Overheard in My House, Part 5

"Anna, do not rub the blueberry on your foot." - Mom

"I can't stand on the potty. I might fall in. And I don't want to fall in the potty. I would miss Rocko." - Anna, age 3

"If you drink all your milk you can put your foot on the table." - Joshua, age 5, making his own dinner table rules

"HAT!" - Matthew, age 16 months

"I'm going to get hurt if I see a giant tomato." - Anna

"Anna, you can't go outside naked." - Dad

"Matthew, quit eating the paper towels." - Mom (kid'll eat paper towels, but the turkey sandwich at lunch, THAT he throws on the floor)

"I don't want to be your sister anymore!" - Anna, directed at Joshua in a fit of rage

"BAT!" - Matthew

Joshua: "I hurt my back!"
Dad: "Do you want me to make it better?"
Joshua, sounding annoyed: "No, you won't make it better, you'll just give me a buffalo kiss."

"Thank you Jesus for Mommy's ear." - Anna

"BALL! BALL! BALL! BALL!" - Matthew

"Anna, stop playing with your cheese." - Mom

"Why is that guy locked up?" - Joshua, while watching a baseball game with his father and seeing the manager behind some sort of fence

"I don't know how to do hard work." - Anna

Dad: "I found my Mp3 player!"
Anna: "PRAISE JESUS!"

"MORE!" - Matthew

"Dad, you know when you go to work tomorrow? (Since) We cleaned up our room...you COULD bring us a prize..." - Joshua

Anna: "Daddy? Why did the poopy diaper go on the road?"
Dad: "I don't know, Anna, why?"
Anna: "Because he's a poopy diaper! Get it? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"NA!" - Matthew, calling out his sister's name!

"HALLELUJAH!" - Anna

And, finally, a conversation I am pretty sure does not happen in just anyone's house:

Mom: "Anna, when you go to preschool next year, you cannot take your clothes off when you go to the bathroom."
Anna: "Got it, Mom!"
Mom: "NO BEING NAKED AT SCHOOL EVER."
Anna: "Deal?"
Mom: "Deal!"