"Anna, do not rub the blueberry on your foot." - Mom
"I can't stand on the potty. I might fall in. And I don't want to fall in the potty. I would miss Rocko." - Anna, age 3
"If you drink all your milk you can put your foot on the table." - Joshua, age 5, making his own dinner table rules
"HAT!" - Matthew, age 16 months
"I'm going to get hurt if I see a giant tomato." - Anna
"Anna, you can't go outside naked." - Dad
"Matthew, quit eating the paper towels." - Mom (kid'll eat paper towels, but the turkey sandwich at lunch, THAT he throws on the floor)
"I don't want to be your sister anymore!" - Anna, directed at Joshua in a fit of rage
"BAT!" - Matthew
Joshua: "I hurt my back!"
Dad: "Do you want me to make it better?"
Joshua, sounding annoyed: "No, you won't make it better, you'll just give me a buffalo kiss."
"Thank you Jesus for Mommy's ear." - Anna
"BALL! BALL! BALL! BALL!" - Matthew
"Anna, stop playing with your cheese." - Mom
"Why is that guy locked up?" - Joshua, while watching a baseball game with his father and seeing the manager behind some sort of fence
"I don't know how to do hard work." - Anna
Dad: "I found my Mp3 player!"
Anna: "PRAISE JESUS!"
"MORE!" - Matthew
"Dad, you know when you go to work tomorrow? (Since) We cleaned up our room...you COULD bring us a prize..." - Joshua
Anna: "Daddy? Why did the poopy diaper go on the road?"
Dad: "I don't know, Anna, why?"
Anna: "Because he's a poopy diaper! Get it? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"NA!" - Matthew, calling out his sister's name!
"HALLELUJAH!" - Anna
And, finally, a conversation I am pretty sure does not happen in just anyone's house:
Mom: "Anna, when you go to preschool next year, you cannot take your clothes off when you go to the bathroom."
Anna: "Got it, Mom!"
Mom: "NO BEING NAKED AT SCHOOL EVER."