Today was one of those days during which so many absurdities occurred, it was hard to pinpoint just one to write about. So I include as many as I can remember here for your enjoyment and my reminder to laugh.
- This morning, while I was still in bed snatching a few minutes of solitude, Matthew threw the large jar of chocolate chips over the safety gate and into the living room. My husband graciously picked up the scattered chips before I got up - while, admittedly, helping himself to a few along the way. (I don't care as long as I didn't wake up to a sea of chocolate chips. My husband rocks.)
- I set the kids up with breakfast and then tried to give myself a bathroom break. While occupied with this activity, I heard Joshua yell "Matthew is throwing his shake everywhere!" I emerged from the bathroom to discover that, indeed, Matthew had flung the contents of his breakfast smoothie all over the table.
- I did laundry all day, which is not in itself absurd, but as I pulled the last load out of the washer, there were about 10 screws in the bottom of the washer. I do not for the life of me know where they came from. I can't see where they would have fallen out of the washer itself, and I wasn't washing anything with pockets. it remains a mystery.
- I sat down at least three times to read my Bible and was interrupted by the phone. I would have ignored it, but it was my husband. All three times.
- During a fourth phone call from my husband, I was in the middle of wiping my four-year-old in the bathroom. On the phone, I asked my husband to please promise me that on our getaway date this weekend(!), I would go 24 hours without wiping anyone's bottom. He replied "Well, I can't promise anything, who knows what the Lord has in store?" Which I suppose is true. However, the Word also says He gives us the desires of our hearts...this is most definitely a desire of my heart...
- I had to have a heart-to-heart discussion with Joshua telling him to fight his baby brother back. You read that right. Matthew needs to learn he cannot attack people. Joshua is six years old and about to be in first grade. Joshua needs to quit being the victim and teach his brother he can't sit on people. Don't judge me.
- I found Matthew in the kitchen trying to give Buzz Lightyear a bath in the sink. Never thought I'd have to utter the phrase "Buzz doesn't need a bath right now."
- Matthew also informed me that my lap was, in fact, his lap, and he could therefore sit in it anytime he wanted, regardless of my feelings on the matter. (He didn't quite use that language, but that was most definitely the message.)
- My children spent a significant portion of the morning in their underwear. Don't judge till you've been there.
And it's only 1:00 pm! Who knows what the afternoon will bring!