All in How You See It

Joshua had a friend come home from preschool with him today. I reminded the boys, as we came in and started to take out coats off, that they were not to exclude Anna from their playtime - Anna was to be included.

A few minutes later, the two boys were running through the house screaming "AAAHHH!! ANNA'S THE MONSTER!! AAHHH!!"

Pretty soon I heard Anna sniffling and saying "I'm not a monster! I'm NICE!"

"Hold it!" I called out, putting a stop to the game. "Boys, that's not what I meant when I said to let Anna play with you."

"But MOM," Joshua said, rolling his eyes and using his "mom is so dumb" voice, "we MADE her the MONSTER."

(Insert "what more do you want from us, lady?" here, because although he was smart enough not to say it, I'm sure that's what he was thinking.)

"Ok, but she doesn't want to be the monster. She doesn't like it."

The two boys looked at each other, confused. Now what would they do?

As I saw Matthew sitting there on the floor, oblivious, I suggested he be the monster - after all, he didn't care.

The boys looked down at Matthew, considered this option, and then began yelling "AAAHHHH!! MATTHEW IS THE MONSTER!!"

Crisis averted.

Now, this would have been the end of the story. To me, as a mom and a girl, the boys were being kind of obnoxious. I told them they had to let Anna play, so they found a spot for her - the least desirable spot, the villain in their play. After all, someone had to be the monster, otherwise who would you run from?

However, in relating this story to my brother, he pointed out the following:

"In the boy world, being the monster can be seen as an honor. You get to chase."

Hmmm. I hadn't thought of it that way. Perhaps they were giving her a good position in the pretend world. Maybe to them, it solved all their problems - Anna could have fun chasing, and they could have fun conspiring together on how to beat the monster. To Anna, it was just insulting - after all, monsters are MEAN and she NICE! To me, the boys were just trying to do the bare minimum of what I'd told them to do while still finding a way to exclude "the girl."

And to Matthew, of course, none of it mattered as long as there was excitement and someone gave him food on occasion.

It's all in how you see it.

Swimming

The kiddos were in Quiet Time just now, and Joshua yelled to let me know that, once again, Anna was naked. (Anna tends to see clothes as more suggestions than anything else.) I went to their room to explain ONCE AGAIN that she is required to wear clothes.

Her response?

"But MOM, I'm SWIMMING!"

Apparently her bed was doubling as a swimming pool, and of course, you can't go swimming in your clothes, so since there was no swimming suit available, she figured the next best thing was to skinny dip.

I explained that we would be swimming in the bed with our clothes and put her pants back on. Thus far that has been the end of it, but time will tell...

BIGGER

“Oh Anna, you’re my big girl.”

“No I’m not, I’m little.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, Daddy and Joshua and Matthew are big, Anna and Mommy are little.”

“Daddy and Joshua and Matthew are big and Anna and Mommy are little?”

“Yeah.”

“So boys are big and girls are little?”

“Yeah boys are big and girls are little.”

“But Anna, I’m bigger than Matthew.”

“Yeah you’re bigger than Matthew and I’m bigger than Daddy.”

“You’re bigger than Daddy?”

“Yeah and I’m bigger than Mommy.”

“You’re bigger than me? No you’re not.”

“No I’m not.”

“Anna, I love you, give me a hug.”

“HUGGIES!!”

Things Overheard in My House, Take Two

"I'll be right back, toast!" - Anna talking to her dinner as she got up to get something.

"Mommy, what are you doing?"
"I'm putting on your clothes, Anna."
"But why?"
"Because you have to wear clothes, Anna."
"I DO?!"

"MOM! Anna is touching the lion picture!"
"Anna, are you touching the lion picture?"
"Ummm...not anymore."

"REALLY big kids go to SECOND GRADE!!" - Joshua (Second grade is like a preschooler's promised land.)

"ANNA! Are you in the kitchen?"
"No, I'm not in the kitchen now." (That girl has a wicked grip of the concept of tenses.)

"DA-DY-DA-DY-DA-DY!" (No, Matthew is NOT saying Daddy, no matter what his father says!)

"MOM! I see a squirrel!"
"Really Joshua? What's it doing?"
"A guy is changing its diaper!" (What?)

"God loves cheese. God does NOT love green beans." - Anna during prayer

"And Jesus died on the cross and He lives in our hearts and He LOVES FOOD!" - Anna, same prayer

"Mom, I can't clean my room."
"Why not, Anna?"
"Because I don't want to."

"I can't close my eyes!" - Anna protesting bedtime

"HEY! Get your feet off your brother's head!"

Tales of a First-born

My husband was outside playing with the kids last night, and it came time to go inside. He announced, "Ok guys! Time to head inside!" Anna immediately started protesting - "I DON'T WANNA GO INSIDE!!" (Anna does nothing at a low volume. Unless she is being sneaky.)

Joshua, coming to his father's aid, said, "No Anna, it's time to go inside."

"NO NO I DON'T WANNA GO INSIDE!" Anna continued to yell.

Then Joshua, in his best, I'm-the-big-brother condescending voice, said:

"Now Anna, Daddy and I said it's time to go inside."

Daddy and I?

Who exactly is in charge around here, and who are the adults?

Reality According to Joshua

As I have mentioned before, the two older kids have what is affectionately known around our house as "Quiet Time" every day. This is also known as please-give-Mommy-one-hour-to-herself-time. It is not a naptime, and we try not to encourage sleeping because if they take naps, it'll be 10 or 11 before they fall asleep that night...and since they go to bed at 8:00, that's two or three hours of "Mom! I need to go to the bathroom!" "Daddy! I need water!" "Can I get a book? " "JOSHUA HIT ME!"

This afternoon, however, I lost the nap battle. Both Joshua and Anna were out within 20 minutes of being sent to their room for Quiet Time. Trying not to think about tonight's repercussions, I enjoyed the one-on-one time with their little brother (poor little third child that he is), and then when he went down for his nap, I enjoyed a long, hot shower. Ah, life's little luxuries!

About three hours after they were sent to their room, Joshua came out rubbing his eyes. I went over to give him a hug, and the first words out of his mouth were "Anna fell asleep!"

"Joshua," I said laughing, "you were asleep too."

"No I wasn't, Anna was sleeping, I wasn't sleeping."

"Joshua, you went to Quiet Time three hours ago, you've been asleep."

"NO I WASN'T SLEEPING! ANNA WAS SLEEPING!"

I'm not sure what he gives up admitting that he was also asleep, but it seemed to be very important that he believed he was not. And you know, some arguments are not worth having.

So we switched to snack time, and all was right in the world.

Things Overheard in My House

"Anna, put that down!" "But I'm THIRSTY!" "Anna, that's not a drink, that's hairspray."

Joshua, commenting on his Cars-themed chicken and noodle soup: "Lightening McQueen is from Cars, and I love him. But I don't like this."

Anna: "I have toys in my bottom!" (She then proceeded to pull toys out of her pull-up.)

Matthew: "BA-BA-BA-BA-BA!" (Not that exciting, but I wouldn't want him to be left out!)

Anna commenting on the popcorn in the microwave: "The cock-corn is making a silly noise!"

Anna, talking to the flock of birds she saw outside the van window: "Hi birds! My name is Anna. And this is Mommy, and Joshua, and Matthew. He's my BROTHER! We're taking Joshua to preschool."

Anna talking to the spider cricket in the bathroom: "Hi, I'm Anna! And this is my mommy, Mom. And this is Matthew. I'm going PEE!"

Anna: "I am not the cheese."

Joshua: "I'm taking off my shirt because I am JOSHUA."

Joshua, to his father: "I'm big, and you're big, but you're taller than me, so I've got to get taller when I'm five."

"ANNA! YOU HAVE TO WEAR CLOTHES!"

Anna: "Joshua, you're a princess."
Joshua: "No, I'm a prince. I rescue you."

Matthew: "DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA!"

Anna: "I think I'm Anna...yup, I'm Anna."

And finally, not overheard in the house, but in the van...

Joshua: "Anna, Knock knock!"
Anna: "Knock knock!"
Joshua: "NO! You're supposed to say who's there!"
Anna: "I don't WANT to say who's there!"
Joshua: "Why?"
Anna: "BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SAY WHO'S THERE!"
Joshua: "NO! You're supposed to say 'I don't know'!"
Anna: "I DON'T WANT TO SAY THAT!"

Pause.

Joshua: "Anna, knock knock!"
Anna: "Knock knock!"

...and so on and so forth...